Common Sense in the Movie Theater

This post may come off as a rant, and in a way it is. What the hell is wrong with people who go to a movie theater? I’m seriously asking. There are five types of people I dislike immensely in a theater setting.
1. The Huddle for Warmth: People who, in an absolutely empty theater, will elect to sit either right next to you, or better yet, directly in front of you. There are dozens of seats in this room, WHY ARE YOU CLUMPING UP ON ONE SPOT!?
2. The Patient Zero: When you’re sick, do you know what the best thing you can do is? Apparently it’s sitting in a crowded room with the air conditioning running on the igloo setting while adamantly refusing to cover you damn mouth and just infecting everyone in sight.
3. The Non-Director’s Commentary: Are you In the movie? Did you work on the movie? Do you have some special unique insight into the creative process behind the movie? THEN NOBODY NEEDS TO HEAR YOUR OPINION ABOUT THE DAMN MOVIE! Yes, that scene was cool, you pointing that out to the rest of the auditorium does not enhance our experience in any way.
4. The Illiterate: For twenty straight minutes before the movie starts the screen periodically reminds the audience to silence their cell phones, how did you miss every single one of their reminders?
5. The Pits: Wash them.


4 thoughts on “Common Sense in the Movie Theater

  1. In China people tend to go to theatres and just end up sleeping or better yet use their cellphone in the theatre with their screen light of full blast. Or pick up phone calls and let me tell you, in China they screen into their phones… You can see how irritating that is…


  2. I actually really agree on number one, but as a Norwegian, i feel like Americans have even smaller personal space preference than back home. We think it is weird if someone chose the same row..


  3. I had a laugh at this post, and I have to say I agree on quite a few of your thoughts here. Especially number one, and as Simons comments on here, us Norwegians are probably the worlds most lonely-time-seeking humans and at least back home everyone is the same way and chooses to sit as far away in the movie theater from anyone else as the room allowes to.


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