After all of your friends ditched you on your birthday to go to their MULT 2060 class, you decided to see what the hype was about and bought a camera. Now a good DSLR can range from a couple hundred to a few thousands dollars.. Ranging from a lab at a community college to a regular class at a private university. But wait! You hate photography! Your fingers are too big to adjust the settings and you can’t stand how a smaller aperture is a larger number! Here are some ways you can turn that regretful purchase into a coffee table accessory your friends won’t be able to stop yelling at you for.
- A coffee mug – Now that you won’t be able to pay rent for the next month, what better way to wind down and think about your mistakes than a hot cup of coffee? There’s no better way to say ,”Currency is a manmade concept and as an american my debt is an illusion” than hollowing out your USM zoom lense and pouring yourself some freshly brewed caffeine.
- Chain – You were never one for jewelry, and saw the extravagant gold chains rappers owned as a gaudy display of wealth. Now that your credit card is maxed out and you don’t have any food in your fridge, all you want is to show yourself that you DO have money. So go and grab a rope and let that camera hang around your neck so that you and everyone around you know you’re capable of spending cash
- Weapon – After making a decision that near-instantly overwhelmed you with bad feelings, you should know that you are 2x more susceptible to being attacked, or perceive innocent actions as you being attacked. Use your newly purchased camera of substantial weight to hurl at your attacker and move on with your life.
- Sell – Sell the damn thing. Just sell it. I know you ripped up all the packaging and threw away the receipt in excitement so just sell it and stop reading this leave me alone already!
*Disclaimer: Please don’t do any of this. Except maybe number 4.