How to enjoy a movie date whilst ignoring the urge to jump out the window

You have once again been coerced into netflix and chill with your local self proclaimed movie buff. After arriving at his place and seeing several Adam Sandler movies lying around, you begin to panic and scan the room for all entrances. Unfortunately, it is too late, and you have already submitted your enrollment deposit. Here are a few ways you can (try) to enjoy your time, and leave a stronger, more mentally resilient person.

 

  1. Make sure there is a punchable surface near you. – While shifting away every time he tries to put his arm around you gets the job done, you might as well get the message fully across and slam your fist on the table in front of you and groan about product placement.
  2. Bring several notebooks. – While aggressively taking notes during the movie can ward off any unwanted conversation, with enough quantity, they can also serve as a sufficient barrier. Although taxing on the wrist and mind, by the end of the film you should be able to mentally block off any situation with note taking and avoidance.
  3. Cry. – After you ask him about the significance of the mise en scene multiple times, and he gets your questions wrong, multiple times, you are in a perfect position to begin crying tears of pity. While you’re at it, slowly back out of the room while maintaining eye contact with the perpetrator. This will solidify their realization that they actually aren’t that into film, and maybe even lead them onto a better path.
  4. Bring your parents. – Although it has been x months since you have left for college and you are enjoying your solitude, you were due for a visit anyways. Knock out two birds with one stone and greet your unsuspecting date with 2 extra pairs of disapproving gazes. dddd.jpg
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One thought on “How to enjoy a movie date whilst ignoring the urge to jump out the window

  1. I just died laughing. I don’t think you should agree to any movie dates for a while girl. Another great way to ignore the urge to jump out is to throw him out of the window instead.

    Like

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